


reseda skid

by menocchio



Series: balance [1]
Category: Cobra Kai (Web Series), Karate Kid (Movies)
Genre: Dueling POVs, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:13:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27038515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/menocchio/pseuds/menocchio
Summary: hard to find balance when you refuse to use a counterweight
Relationships: Daniel LaRusso & Johnny Lawrence
Series: balance [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2040426
Comments: 52
Kudos: 189





	reseda skid

**Author's Note:**

> the formatting of this fic likely doesn't work on an e-reader, but it seems to be fine on a phone.

daniel  
(moving forward, careless)

| 

| 

johnny  
(looking back, blind)  
  
---|---|---  
  
| 

|   
  
| 

|   
  
**1983**

| 

| 

**2018**  
  
for as long as he can remember, his ma talks  
about getting out of jersey. one of those pie in  
the sky ideas he doesn't take seriously. a house  
with a pool; a cadillac; a life outside newark.  
and okay, newark isn't the greatest. half the  
storefronts in his neighborhood are empty and  
the streetlight in front of their building has been  
out for over fifteen months. and it's not like he  
loves that his ma has to walk past five  
crackheads on her way to the grocery store,  
okay.

but, you know, daniel figures you can't just give up on a place

| 

| 

he wakes up one morning and doesn't even  
realize it's been a decade until it slips out of his  
mouth in conversation with some kid next to  
the dumpsters.  
he still basically lives out of his bags. he  
doesn't own any dishes, but the apartment's  
plumbing doesn't make the idea of switching  
from paper plates seem worth it. it's been long  
enough for the junkies in the alley to switch  
from needles to meth and back to needles  
again.

but at some point, johnny realizes, he just kind of gave up on it.  
  
except apparently you can.

| 

| 

or maybe he never even tried.  
  
| 

|   
  
**1984**

| 

| 

**2008**  
  
it's not forever, his ma tells him when they move to reseda.  
(they're on the up-and-up)  
(and what the hell's that even mean, anyway?)

| 

| 

when he moves to reseda, he thinks it's just for a while.  
(a temporary setback)  
(maybe he knows he's full of shit even then)  
  
_so glad we drove three thousand miles for this._ the pool's got some dry leaves, an unidentifiable green-brown scum and no water.

| 

the fountain in the front doesn't run.  
yellow scale in the the basin, pretty sure water didn't leave that.  
  
and what's so great about palm trees anyway?  
they don't even provide shade  
and feel like a lie.

| 

there's more concrete than grass here.  
like they kept pouring and spreading the stuff to  
cover up old mistakes.  
  
the beach is pretty cool,

until it isn't.

| 

the beach isn't further away than from encino,

but he stops making the drive.  
  
he doesn't even get the other boy's name at first, just knows

| 

and it's around this time the billboards start appearing with  
  
his smug, smiling face.

and it's like suddenly he's _everywhere_.

there's no escaping it.  
  
at soccer try-outs  
and on the street,  
even the mini golf place.

| 

| 

on sherman  
and burbank.  
even his own home, when his tv betrays him.  
  
how small is this damn valley, anyway?  
  
daniel tries to do what he does best in problem situations:

avoids

| 

| 

johnny doesn't know deal with problems he can't punch, so he

ignores  
  
hope it all goes away

that _he_ will go away.  
  
| 

|   
  
**1984**

| 

| 

**2007**  
  
daniel can get by on his own

| 

| 

one day dutch finally hits that wall  
  
(black eye, sore ribs, trashed bike)

| 

(that is, robbery and aggravated assault)  
  
_don't run away_ , says ali; _hey,_ _i'm not running away from anything_ , he says and it's true, he's not; his is leisurely serpentine retreat

| 

_look, it was always going to be something_ , sighs bobby over the phone; _are priests supposed to say shit like that?_ asks johnny.  
  
he thinks if he just keeps treading water, he might outlast this whole thing.

| 

dutch is sent to lompoc; bobby tells johnny this like he should already know what it is.  
  
(his legs are getting kinda tired)

| 

(turns out it's a prison)  
  
mr miyagi hands him some clippers  
stands him before a strange small tree  
and somehow trusts that daniel isn't going to mess it up, like  
maybe he can do something while he's hiding.

| 

old friends are ships vanishing on the horizon  
they occasionally send up distress flares  
maybe they're too far to reach in time, johnny doesn't know,  
honestly he didn't even think to try.  
  
| 

|   
  
**1984**

| 

| 

**2006**  
  
and daniel learns  
beneath that quietly amused demeanor, the untouchable calm,  
lies a broken heart.  
_complications_ , says miyagi: _no doctor came.  
land of the free, home of the brave.  
no doctor came._

| 

| 

every new failure starts to feel like  
confirmation of a long-suspected truth: he is built wrong,  
some flaw in his blueprint maybe.  
one day johnny buys his son a soccer ball.  
( _hey i used to play too, did you know that?_ )  
and then forgets to attend the first game  
  
daniel tries, clumsily, to take care of him for a change.

| 

...and the next five.  
  
and maybe more than  
blocking or kicking or balancing over water  
mr miyagi teaches him this:  
that nurturing can feel strong too.

| 

what came first,  
his shame or his weakness?  
the very least he can do, he tells himself,  
is not pass it on to robby.  
  
|   
  
the tournament's not what he expected  
and he doesn't know what he's doing  
there's no points in a real fight?  
you're either the guy standing  
or the one on the ground.

|   
  
he thinks  
maybe  
he should've learned not to flinch.

|   
  
and then—  
nothing's changed.  
nothing's changed.  
nothing's changed.

|   
  
daniel's on the ground again  
except this time  
his leg is in agony  
and there's a whole room of people  
cheering

|   
  
and during the final  
during the fight  
there's a terrible look on johnny's  
face  
like he's not really hitting daniel

|   
  
though he definitely  
(to be clear)  
is hitting daniel.

|   
  
daniel breathes and sees  
clear-eyed  
johnny is all aggression layered over pain  
no thought, no heart  
two strong legs which he works swiftly  
like he might outpace  
his fear

|   
  
daniel breathes and sees  
for one achingly brief moment  
himself  
perfect and in balance.

|   
  
and then he  
kicks johnny in the face.

|   
  
it's over and

|   
  
he is barely able to stand but other people are suddenly there to hold him up. and this is what it means to win, he learns: people want to be near you again.

| 

he holds his son for the first time a week after he's born, hands trembling a little from the nerves or maybe just the drain of alcohol from his bloodstream, who's he kidding.  
  
johnny pushes in, they're both exhausted, bruised, jostled from all sides by people who don't get it. the other boy cradles the trophy gingerly as he hands it to daniel – for once accepting something doesn't belong to him, he doesn't get to have it.

| 

he's tired and already heartbroken, somehow. robby feels surprisingly solid – johnny would've guessed breakable but no: his son is a little warm bundle against his chest. he looks at him and thinks, you don't belong to me, do you? no way he gets to have this.  
  
daniel can feel it. he knows this is how it's supposed to go.  
as he's carried away he hears:

_you're alright, larusso._

| 

johnny can feel it. he knows this is not how it's supposed to go.  
as walks away he hears:

_are you fucking kidding me, johnny?_  
  
and johnny slips away  
it feels almost

too quick,  
after the months of waiting.  
  
daniel limp-runs painfully  
across the parking lot in time for kreese  
to throw johnny to the side  
and turn on mr miyagi, who can take care of himself.

| 

|   
  
the other boy is making a noise  
almost like he's sobbing  
it didn't occur to him johnny could sound  
like that  
too

|   
  
he hears later  
around town  
johnny doesn't do karate anymore.

|   
  
| 

|   
  
**1985**

| 

| 

**2002**  
  
daniel imagines  
what follows will all feel more normal  
in hindsight  
surely plenty of people  
keep finding themselves in these types of situations

| 

| 

it's eight months rather than nine  
like they said in school  
because of course they don't know at first  
but loads of people have had kids, going back  
probably billions. so why does this feel so special?  
  
fighting to the death  
with some wannabe-godfather of okinawa  
on one's summer vacation

| 

shopping for racecar-themed footie pajamas  
but what if it's a girl?  
well she'll at least have good taste, he decides.  
  
and then at one point,  
he finds himself dangling  
off a cliff?

| 

they find out it's a boy, and johnny says he can tell because of  
the way he kicks.  
  
his life and mr miyagi's livelihood

| 

but he starts thinking and  
  
held ransom over  
an all valley under-18 karate title  
like, man  
that thing doesn't even pay money,  
and daniel kinda spent his college fund.

| 

his smiles fade  
the baby is real  
in a way he wasn't before.  
johnny's mom is gone  
and what does he know about raising a kid?  
  
once, after everything  
(and it was a whole thing)  
standing looking at framed photos of  
past champions  
he studies johnny lawrence's blinding smile  
his hair is white in the photo  
and his back straight under the heavy weight  
of kreese's hand

| 

loads of people have had kids  
(this thought no longer helps)  
example: in the aisle of a target he sees  
daniel larusso  
with a baby stroller  
he doesn't look a day past twenty-five  
and he talks in that quick way of his to the kid  
like she can already answer back  
  
he got out. he got out before it was too late,  
and maybe so can daniel.

| 

well – he did it. and if he can do it,  
then johnny should be able to.  
  
when he says he's done competing  
miyagi looks  
relieved.

| 

johnny listens to his answering machine  
and makes it as far as six beers  
across from the hospital.  
  
|   
  
the nineties are like one of those wormholes from star trek, he goes in, he comes out, but who is to say what happened in the middle.

at some point, squeezed by the bending twist of spacetime,

he turns thirty.

|   
  
_you know, i used to do karate_ , he says to amanda  
once, early on.  
_oh?_ she says, hands slipping around his waist where the belt would have gone, _i bet you were real cute.  
__i was incredibly cute,_ he says and decides not to mention the hospital bills.

|   
  
| 

|   
  
**2001**

| 

| 

**2001**  
  
mr miyagi once told him lies only become true if a person chooses to believe them.  
he probably didn't mean that as,  
like,  
a tip.  
but daniel looks at his life, the vast growing superstructure of it all,  
and it's easier to let the lie grow to fit.  
safer, even.

| 

| 

is a bad year.  
  
right after the diagnosis, she is still his mom, full of confidence:  
_you're gonna be okay, baby.  
_but by the final days it turns into a question.  
_are you going to be okay, johnny?  
_he holds her thin hand  
and lies with everything he's got.  
  
|   
  
| 

the nineties are a jet stream and it turns out johnny's not much of a pilot.  
secretly,  
he doesn't believe that decade actually happened.  
  
| 

_you know, I used to do karate_ he says once to a babe  
and she goes _uh cool i guess_ _but why are you bringing it up now?  
_(they are half naked on his bed)  
_bet i can get my leg higher than yours  
_and he totally does.  
  
| 

|   
  
**2008**

| 

| 

**1988**  
  
they hadn't planned on having more than one.  
with the business  
and mr miyagi getting sick,  
the timing really couldn't be worse.

| 

| 

his girlfriend gets knocked up  
a week after he is fired  
from his second job  
_look, I just want you to pay half, okay?_  
  
he goes from home to work tense  
with indecision and unhappiness,  
the feelings growing

| 

and he thinks a little blankly about the twenty  
bucks in his wallet; pretty sure a baby  
costs more than that,  
  
by the hour, it seems.  
but amanda starts to come around to the idea  
_neither of us had siblings; maybe sam will  
be less lonely than we were_ she says

| 

but it's a start?  
she stares down at the money  
he hurries to say, _i'll get another job, don't worry.  
i'll support you two no matter what._  
  
(but daniel doesn't remember being lonely.)

| 

(because he will, he's not going to be like his dad.)  
  
in the end  
what's he really going to say to his wife?  
how does he say no to a child that is wanted, that he helped create.  
who will, after all,  
have a good life waiting.

| 

but then her stare changes  
and she wails  
_oh my god i'm not fucking keeping it, johnny. what the hell is  
wrong with you,  
__we met like a month ago._  
  
| 

|   
  
**2011**

| 

| 

**1985**  
  
is a bad year.  
  
people are weird about death as adults. they make sympathetic noises and send flowers and cards and then ask if you've

| 

| 

so they're drinking on the beach and bobby says,  
_did you hear about kreese and larusso?  
_and no, johnny doesn't really pay a lot of  
attention to much, but he thought he'd heard kreese—  
  
had a chance to look at that quarterly report.

| 

beer turning turning sour in his stomach—  
  
_done well, daniel-san_ , he'd said, near the end  
but daniel's waiting for the rest of the story.

| 

_i thought kreese died?_ he says, pulse kicking  
and he doesn't really hear the story after that.  
  
| 

|   
  
**2012**

| 

| 

**1984**  
  
his ma and amanda both say he's been acting disconnected  
and distant, he thinks he is doing just fine.  
someone suggests he sponsor the tournament, and his  
first thought is:  
_like hell am i gonna do that  
_mr. miyagi never cared about competing  
plastic-metal trophies  
weren't worth defending so  
why would daniel  
go back

| 

| 

teachers always said johnny didn't pay attention  
but honestly, he thought he did to the important stuff.  
he guesses they must've been right all along, because how else  
didn't he realize:  
_you know, you're really sick, man  
_kreese's arm around his neck—  
his trophy is lying in pieces somewhere  
his friends yell  
and johnny can't  
he can't  
  
now.

| 

breathe.  
  
(but it's still karate, isn't it? and wouldn't it give him a piece of his old self back?)  
first time he steps back inside the center  
his skin feels shrinkwrapped  
because he outrgrew this  
or at least turned his back on it  
same difference.  
he's fine.  
really, he's fine.  
amanda does most of the talking  
during the sponsorship meeting  
while daniel chit-chat-shoots-himself about the old days. what a great time, the 80s: boom boxes black eyes and crowds that roar.  
he looks out at the cavernous gym and he's  
fine.

| 

(what a joke, to think he was strong, to think he could defend himself.)  
there's gravel embedded in his palms  
and his face is hot  
from humiliation  
and maybe a little from the choking,  
whatever,  
he's okay.  
he's okay.  
he looks up, still on the ground  
daniel's staring back, dark eyes wide.  
probably, he thinks it's the best thing he's ever seen: johnny on his knees, gasping for air. finally getting what was coming to him.  
well joke's on him because johnny's  
okay.  
  
| 

|   
  
**2014**

| 

| 

**1984**  
  
they buy a large new house in encino. it has a tuscan tiled roof and a pool. in fact, it is so gorgeous, he worries about his kids.

(what if they are more encino than larusso?)  
he shoves the worry down  
deep.

|  | 

_out of commission_ , sensei orders bobby; it's more important to him that cobra kai takes the trophy than johnny wins the fight.

(doesn't he think johnny will win the fight?)  
it shakes something loose inside him  
total cave-in.  
  
| 

one, two, and he's a point from being done with all of it but then  
like the first time,  
daniel gets a hit in.  
johnny tastes blood when he licks his upper lip.  
sensei takes his face in his hands  
careful, almost tender and  
wipes the blood away  
he looks into his eyes and looks like he wishes he could wipe johnny away just as easily.  
  
| 

and then he does.  
  
_we need a new ad campaign_ , says amanda  
and daniel doesn't remember mentioning karate but he must've because suddenly  
they're moving ahead  
and this thing that had been part of him, part of  
mr miyagi, is now  
another way to win.  
to beat the competition. it's called having a growth mindset, and once you start, you don't get to stop.

| 

he says _sweep the leg  
_and johnny doesn't remember saying _yes_ but he must've because he does it  
he doesn't really think after that.  
no, that's a lie. he thinks: don't wanna do this anymore.  
but no mercy. not for either of them  
so he beats on daniel. and like it's some secret pact between them, daniel keeps getting up.  
he won't stop.  
  
| 

_are you alright_ asks the ref  
and it's always no, but daniel  
doesn't know when to fucking quit.  
he bleeding  
he's limping  
those fucking woodland creature eyes look across the mat like johnny's just shot his mom in front of him and is retraining the rifle  
he's made johnny  
into his nightmare  
someone he didn't even know he could be.  
every asshole teacher he's ever had, or his dickhead stepfather and yeah  
supposedly johnny chose this  
and every second  
he keeps choosing it.  
  
| 

the other thing about daniel is he always looks  
so  
fucking  
scared  
in a fight and it makes johnny angry for some reason.  
  
this is balance, right  
what he feels these days  
a kind of acceptance, which solidified into certainty.  
maybe daniel can belong in this life.  
and even if he couldn't  
(is jealousy the same thing as desire? did he ever need any of this?)  
he's got a family to care and provide for  
that's all he needs to keep moving forward. he thinks  
this is what mr miyagi would have done

| 

something about daniel's fear  
digs in and drives johnny's own  
but kreese always said fear doesn't belong in his dojo  
maybe johnny doesn't belong in that dojo.  
he still thinks he could've won  
(nobody else scored a point on him, he's good at this, he _is_ )  
if he had something to fight for like  
daniel has something to fight for,  
but kreese took that all away before the fight even began  
  
right?

| 

anyway at some point johnny gets  
kicked in the face.  
  
| 

|   
  
**2017**

| 

| 

**1984**  
  
he is now used to the drive, used to seeing  
his face and name everywhere.  
the valley still has its problems  
but he got his  
anyway, he gives back to the community  
in all sorts of ways, financial mostly  
this is balance.  
okay?  
maybe sometimes he feels adrift  
he's the good guy, but he has to wonder  
where are the bad?  
sometimes he finds himself sizing a man up  
wondering _if i needed to...  
__could i take you?  
_( _yes, easy._ )

| 

| 

it's not just that the new kid  
is everywhere  
crowding johnny's life all the time. it's that  
he's so cheerful and smug about it  
waltzing, effortless and  
making ali smile  
he's not some innocent little victim,  
okay?  
when johnny walks over to him  
at least half the time  
daniel's meeting him halfway.  
honestly,  
it never felt like an unfair fight, see  
daniel's got the ego and attitude of  
five, easy.  
  
| 

|   
  
**2018**

| 

| 

**1984**  
  
it's one of those days  
he wakes up early  
feeling great, and he cooks breakfast for the kids, savors an espresso with his wife.  
sun warm on his face  
he makes a joke and his customers laugh

| 

| 

night before the first day of school  
it's getting late  
and he and his friends are riding around the beach, racing and doing tricks.  
wind fresh on his face  
he makes a joke and his friends laugh  
  
and he can just feel it:  
everything is falling into place.  
  
it's gonna be a good day.

| 

| 

it's gonna be a good year.  
  
this is how life is supposed to be,  
isn't it?  
when you've worked hard.  
  
but then daniel looks over

| 

| 

but then johnny looks down  
  
and he sees him


End file.
